Since this weekend was Mother's Day, my momma came to visit. I had a great time just sitting around talking with her and my sister. She is and always has been a great momma. Im not the mushy lovey dovey person (if you know me at all, you can probably tell this) but I do love my momma and I don't show it like I should. This being said, I am NOT like my momma when it comes to being emotional. I cry... and I cry more now than I used to... but I don't cry like my momma does! (or Deb) lol. However, momma knows I love her... I just don't sob and cry and hug all the time to show it!
Anyways. I have a great momma and I am thankful for her. You probably notice that I still call her my MOMMA.....not mom! I never have been one to call her mom. I hope that I can be a momma like her one day.
Today was a sweet day at church, but it was also sad. We all miss Adam's momma, but today she was on my mind more than usual. My heart just broke for Ben...because he don't get to have his momma like all the other kids do. Adam and Jake are older, and they had more time with her. Ben just had those 3 precious years. I feel so guilty sometimes getting to watch him grow up, when I know how much she would love to. I never want to try to take her place, and I fear that people think I try to. But I can't not love that child, it's just not possible. I probably baby him more than I should..... but I guess that's ok. Ben often has to tell his friends at school.... "She is not my mom... she's my sister-in-law!" lol. Can you imagine the look on the other kids faces? Half of them don't even know what a sister-in-law is!! But it never fails... usually everyday at school some kid will say "Hey there is Ben's mom!" And the lady at Lowe's the other night wished me a Happy Mother's Day. Ben just looked at me and kinda grinned, we have both learned just to let it go.
I wish Tammy could be here to watch her boys. I know she would be so proud of all of them! Jak is learning to play the piano and the guitar. He can play nearly anything by ear. Ben is just a little man. He can read some words you wouldn't imagine! He asked Adam yesterday what LEGITIMATE meant... because he read it on something! (and yes.. I just had to ask Adam how to spell it... lol) She would be SO SO proud of Adam. She raised a great man, and I will forever be grateful to her. He is just everything I need. He is wonderful to me, and I love him so much. He has taken on more in three years than some people do in an entire lifetime. Talkin' about a GREAT DAD.... I just can't wait to see it! He has been Jake & Ben's rock and he loves them so much. I can't imagine how he will be with our babies.
So this long post is in honor of 2 great moms... My mom and my mother-in-law! Happy Mother's Day to all the Mommas out there!
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I know this may come as a shock to you, but I am crying now!! You are awesome with Ben. I watched Steel Magnolias last night and today and sobbed when she said would this baby ever know how special his momma was...I thought of Ben and remembered he has wonderful people in his life that will teach him this. I lost it when Ben handed Gaye a rose...that was one of the most precious things I have ever witnessed. Love you guys!
ReplyDeleteand now I'm crying as well. Cina, you are a terrific mother to Ben and those boys are so blessed to have you in their lives. I know that Tammy is looking down on all of you with a great big smile on her face. I love you and am so proud of the lady that you have become!
ReplyDeleteDeb of course I am crying,too. Thank you Christina this is the best Mother's Day gift. I love you so much and I am so proud of you.
ReplyDeletePass me a kleenex too....what a great tribute to your Mom and Tammy.
ReplyDeleteChristina,
ReplyDeleteYou will and do make a great mother. While we know you would never try and replace Ben's mother you have had the awesome responsibility of feeling those shoes and you have done a wonderful job. You had a great example in your own mother.
I'm so far behind on reading but girl, I'm crying again. Thanks for that. :))
ReplyDeleteI love that I read this today after the hysterical SS class we had this morning. I can't ever tell you enough how much Luke and I love you and Adam and flat out admire you for the decisions you've made and the life you are living. You are right - y'all skipped your twenties but God knows and will bless you one thousand times over for having to jump straight into be old poots like me and Luke ..LOL
Oh well..rambling. I love you girl. :)